Happy New Year everyone! (fuck)
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When he started attending university, Chen Qianqing also started spending less time at home. Aside from National Day and winter holidays, most of the time he was at school.
Although she didn't say it out loud, being a mother, Liu Huamei missed Chen Qianqing deep down in her heart.
So during these New Year holidays, this longing was translated into three words: buy buy buy.
Liu Huamei had Chen Qianqing roam supermarkets with her, buying nearly every food that he liked to eat: everything from the necessary items to prepare three meals a day, to snacks to munch on in-between.
Additionally, when they had time, she’d take Chen Qianqing shopping. As a result, after being there for only a week, Chen Qianqing owned 18 new pieces of clothing.
Because their living standard had improved, the special thrill typical of festivities wasn’t quite there. In the past, they only ate good food during the New Year holidays; now, they could eat anything they wanted, any day.
Since everyday was like New Year’s, they didn’t know how to celebrate it anymore.
A dozen days passed by quickly; in an instant, it was the end of the year.
The day before the Spring festival, Chen Qingyang’s xiaomei(1.) Chen Qingyu and his dajie(2.) Chen Qingyi(3.) gathered at their home.
Chen Qingyang’s dajie had been a widow for a long time. She was now left with her only son Chen Ao, who was older than Chen Qianqing by a few years and currently employed. Because he needed to work, he couldn’t come home for the Spring Festival.
Chen Qianqing didn’t like that bustling excitement, but he didn’t let it on. His attitude had always been ‘if people don't slight me, I won't offend them’; as long as they didn't mess with his head, everything would be fine.
It had been a year since Chen Qianqing had joined that universe.
A few days before the New Year, City C saw its first snow.
The climate in City C was warm, so this was a rare event.
On New Year's day, Liu Huamei took care of the Spring Festival’s dinner early. No one mentioned any provocative and unpleasant topics, so the atmosphere could be regarded as harmonious.
Every New Year's dinner was of great importance to the older generation. Chen Qianqing went with the flow and followed Liu Huamei to the couch.
All this time, Chen Qianqing had received neither texts nor calls from Lu Zhengfei. Chen Qianqing assumed that he was busy and forgot to do it, but right before midnight, Lu Zhengfei did call him.
At that time Chen Qianqing was eating Liu Huamei’s yuanxiao(4.), but when he saw the caller ID, he put down his spoon and left for the hallway.
Chen Qianqing opened with, "Hello."
Lu Zhengfei, “Darling, Happy New Year.”
Fireworks and firecrackers began to go off outside. It was incredibly lively; Lu Zhengfei’s voice felt a bit indistinct.
Chen Qianqing reciprocated, “Mh, Happy New Year.”
Lu Zhengfei, “Are you having fun at home? ” Ever since Chen Qianqing had returned home, he hadn’t contacted him.
Chen Qianqing turned his head to glance at the noisy room. He was silent for a while before replying, “En.”
Lu Zhengfei, “Do you miss me?”
Chen Qianqing laughed lightly. “Do you really think I should?”
The answer to that question was obvious, so obvious that Lu Zhengfei couldn’t deceive himself. He was silent until he added, “I want to see you.”
Chen Qianqing fished out a cigarette from his pockets and laid it in the front of his lips, then retorted dully, “What do you mean by that? I can’t grow wings.”
Lu Zhengfei’s delighted laugh came through the phone. “Come downstairs.”
Chen Qianqing was astonished. “You’re here?!”
Lu Zhengfei, “Just come.”
After saying this, he hung up.
Chen Qianqing wavered as he stared at the phone in his hands. He couldn’t really believe that Lu Zhengfei ran over to City C. After all, it was New Year’s Eve. In their homes, they must celebrate it together, as a family.
But after hemming and hawing, Chen Qianqing finally informed Liu Huamei and went downstairs.
In front of the house, snow had already piled up. Chen Qianqing put on a random coat, and the moment he stepped out of the door, he felt the cold permeate his body. He went downstairs and looked around, but he couldn't make out Lu Zhengfei’s figure.
Chen Qianqing felt somewhat relieved. However, when he was about to call Lu Zhengfei, a pair of ice-cold hands were laid on his neck.
It was a feeling anyone would recognize; Chen Qianqing almost jumped. He turned around and saw Lu Zhengfei laughing mischievously, waving both of his red hands.
Chen Qianqing, “Why did you come?”
Even if he had mentally prepared himself, upon seeing Lu Zhengfei his reaction was one of fear.
The clothes Lu Zhengfei was wearing were thin; he wasn’t even wearing a coat to keep him warm. At the moment, he was rubbing his hands together. “I bought a last-minute plane ticket and snuck over. I’ll leave tomorrow morning.”
Chen Qianqing could make a general guess from the clothes the other was wearing. Lu Zhengfei had left a warm country abroad, considering he was only wearing a shirt and a very thin v-neck jacket.
Chen Qianqing, “Why are you wearing so little?”
Lu Zhengfei, “I just got off the plane. Who could expect it would snow in City C?”
Chen Qianqing didn’t know what he ought to say. It was ten or so minutes to 12. The sound of firecrackers exploding was ubiquitous.
Lu Zhengfei, with his thin clothes, snow all over his head and shoulders, face and hands frozen red, still smiled. “Darling, I really missed you.”
This was the younger, rash and foolish version of him.
Chen Qianqing dusted off the snow deposited on Lu Zhengfei’s shoulders, then tiredly said, “Let’s look for a warm place to talk.”
Lu Zhengfei had come in a haste, so he couldn’t drive his own car.
During New Year’s Eve, finding a taxi was a nightmare. It should have taken about 20 minutes to reach Chen Qianqing’s house from the airport, but Lu Zhengfei got there in half an hour by taxi. By sheer luck, he wasn’t late, and he was still able to see his beloved on the last day of the year.
The one thing he was grateful for was that Chen Qianqing’s house was in a good location, a hotel being nearby.
Once Chen Qianqing entered the room, he turned on the heater.
Since Lu Zhengfei was shivering, seeing Chen Qianqing’s actions he was elated, “Qianqing, you do care for me!”
Chen Qianqing was expressionless; he just sighed lightly and didn’t comment.
Chen Qianqing, “Go wash, take a bath, okay?”
Lu Zhengfei hmmed in agreement. He really was freezing to death; he wasn’t planning on acting prideful, so he turned to enter the bathroom.
The bathroom was made of glass, with a curtain that you could pull close from the inside.
Naturally, Lu Zhengfei was proud of his body so he didn’t close the curtain... Fine, to be frank, it was just because he was afraid Chen Qianqing would run away while he was showering.
But Chen Qianqing didn’t run anywhere, and stayed silent during the whole bathing process. He still felt that chill on his neck, left by Lu Zhengfei’s ice-cold hands, as if it couldn't dissipate.
Chen Qianqing didn’t expect that his younger self would suddenly be so bold. He knew that he did a lot of unnecessary things for Chen Qianqing back in the day, but when he thought of how he acted at the time, he couldn’t laugh, not even a little.
Lu Zhengfei’s happy laughs were in stark contrast with Chen Qianqing’s deathly hush.
The hot water had warmed Lu Zhengfei’s body, Chen Qianqing’s tenderness had warmed Lu Zhengfei’s heart. Upon his arrival, he dreaded to think that Chen Qianqing would immediately turn away and leave him there. However, fortunately, Chen Qianqing didn’t leave and even brought him to a hotel.
Could this mean Chen Qianqing was wavering?
Chen Qianqing was indeed wavering without realizing it. He only knew that when he saw Lu Zhengfei standing in the snow, giggling at him, he was reminded of the feelings he had when he was courting Chen Qianqing. He was aware of how scared Lu Zhengfei was of being dumped, of coming alone and leaving alone.
After bathing, Lu Zhengfei dried his hair and came out of the bathroom.
The air conditioning was set to twenty-eight ℃, so the temperature inside had risen. The shirt Lu Zhengfei was wearing was partially wet. With a smile on his face, he directly pleaded, “Qianqing, tonight…stay with me, won’t you?”
Chen Qianqing slowly laid his eyes on Lu Zhengfei. “No.”
Lu Zhengfei was stunned, but immediately recovered. “Are you going to leave me here, all on my lonesome?”
Chen Qianqing nodded, stood up and replied, “If I don’t go back, my mom will get suspicious.” Earlier on, when Liu Huamei had called, he had made up a random excuse.
Lu Zhengfei instantly deflated like a balloon. He wanted to say something, but held back. He knew that Chen Qianqing wouldn’t give him an inch, but he had a greedy nature. He always wanted more.
Chen Qianqing, “Sleep here for tonight, I’ll visit you in the morning.”
Lu Zhengfei understood that he couldn’t stop him. Disheartened, he sat on the bed, murmuring, “My flight is at ten tomorrow.” — it was supposed to be earlier.
Chen Qianqing hmmed. “I’ll be here earlier than that, so you should go to sleep earlier as well.”
Lu Zhengfei took out a cigarette and lowered his head. He really looked downcast.
No one would be happy after being rejected.
However, Chen Qianqing didn’t hesitate. After he left the room, he entered the elevator and slowly pushed button “one”.
Lu Zhengfei didn’t deserve to be happy. No matter how miserable he felt, he would always be completely unworthy of Chen Qianqing’s love.
Chen Qianqing walked outside, big snowflakes landing on his face. It felt as cold as his heart. He seemed to hear a hazy voice belonging to the real Chen Qianqing by his ear, “Lu Zhengfei, how are you?”
Chen Qianqing felt as if a dark cloud was hovering over his head. He repeated the words he said that day, “Chen Qianqing, I’m not ok.” So, are you happy or not?
The snow crunched under his footsteps while he slowly walked home. When he was about to open the door, he spotted Chen Qingyang and Chen Xiaohui holding fireworks, ready to head out.
Liu Huamei, “Qianqing, where did you go? We were getting ready to set off the fireworks!”
Chen Qianqing, “I went to see the snow.” And the person who was waiting for him in the snow.
Liu Huamei, “You look like you’re freezing. Why aren’t you wearing a scarf?”
Chen Qianqing recalled that when he brought Lu Zhengfei to the hotel, he took off his scarf and forgot it there. “I forgot to.”
Liu Huamei didn’t question him anymore. She asked if Chen Qianqing wanted to set off firecrackers together with them, but he refused.
Liu Huamei saw that her son’s face was frozen red. Even though she was worried, she didn’t nag him further and they all left, together with Chen Qianyang.
The door closed, the only sound left that of the TV host. Chen Qianqing crouched down and covered his head with both arms.
Footnotes:
‘Xiaomei’ - younger sister.
‘Dajie’ - older sister.
‘Chen Qingyi’ - her name can be read as Qingyi or Qingyun. For this translation, we’ll be using Qingyi.
‘Yuanxiao’ - sticky rice dumplings typical of the northern regions of China; they are different from tangyuan, which are from southern China. Yuanxiao have a hard filling, they are dunked in water until they reach a certain diameter and then dusted with rice flour. On the other hand, tangyuan have a soft filling and are wrapped in a dough made from water and rice flour. However, both are eaten during the holidays: New Year’s, Winter and Summer Solstice, for example.
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